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You may be throwing a small get together, a big soiree or your wedding – but you will always need your address book and the guidelines for addressing your guests correctly!
Emily Post is the quintessential expert on all things etiquette. And thus, I recommend checking her advice when in a particularly hard bind. Also, I do recommend buying an etiquette book when getting married, it doesn’t have to be big or expensive, just informative.
I recommend a book like, The Art of the Handwritten Note by Margaret Shepard, 
because it helps to have a source for information. More than likely, you will ask yourself, “Well, how does everyone else do it?”
Here are a few tips to help you with some basic tips that one may come across while addressing invites.
Miss. is used for unmarried women under the age of 18, while Ms. is the most common for women who aren’t married.
Mr. and Mrs. John Tucker for a married couple, if the woman keeps her maiden name, Mr. John Tucker and Ms. Mary Davidson.
Unless you know the preference, most defer to Mrs. John Tucker as the appropriate address for a widow.
For a casual greeting or address? John and Mary Tucker
Traditionally, a professional title takes the place of Mr. or Mrs. For example, Dr. and Mrs. John Tucker, or if they are both doctors – The Doctors Tucker or Drs. John and Mary Tucker. If the woman has kept her married name, Dr. John Tucker and Dr. Mary Davidson.
It can be tricky, but knowing your guests and how they prefer to be addressed is half of the battle. If in the case of addressing many invitations for people you may not know (like a wedding), follow traditional route or try to find out their preference.
Crane’s The Wedding Blue Book is a fantastic source for all tricky questions (and much more on wedding correspondence).
A question that is asked is how to acknowledge children in the invitation. For many occasions, the hosts would like to politely create an adults only event.
In a wedding invitation scenario, the inner envelope designates all of those invited.
For example, if you are inviting children, every child over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation. To address the children under 18?
Address the entire family on the inner envelope:
Jack, Mary
Sue, Henry and Grace
This way, they know each member is invited. For a more casual event, use a casual address like Jack and Mary Smith. Some hosts feel the need the include a discrete saying on the invitation like, “Respectfully, an adult reception.” The rule of thumb is, for hosts and guests, that if the child isn’t listed on the invitation, they aren’t invited.
For parents, addressing invitations for a child’s party can be difficult as well. The rule of thumb for children’s parties is not to send invitations to school, unless the entire class is invited. More than likely, it may be best to invite the entire class. However, if the invitations are going to children from many classes and grades, sending a mailed invitation to that child is the best protocol. Mr. Jack Smith or Ms. Elizabeth Howell is the appropriate way to address a young male or female.
Depending on your occasion and the formality of it, addressing your guests can be tricky but the fun is all ahead for the event that you are hosting!
(Photo Credit: Crane.com)
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